Milford Baptist Church    17 February 2002
New life for new people (Part 2) - Faithfulness  Matthew 5.27-37

After World War Two a general and his young lieutenant were boarding a train in England. The only seats were across from a beautiful young lady and her grandmother. The general and the lieutenant sat facing the women. As the train pulled out, it went through a tunnel. For about ten seconds there was total darkness. In the silence, everyone in the carriage heard two things, a kiss and a slap. The young lady thought to herself, “I’m flattered that the lieutenant kissed me, but I wish grandma hadn’t hit him.” Her grandma thought, “I’m appalled that that young man would have the gall to kiss my granddaughter, but good on her for slapping him.” The general sat there thinking to himself, “He showed a bit of courage, my lieutenant, in kissing that girl, but why did she slap me?” The lieutenant was the only one who knew what had happened. In that moment of darkness he had the opportunity to both kiss a pretty girl and slap his general.

This month we’ve been exploring the question: “What does it mean to follow Jesus, to live like him, to live in God’s kingdom?” We’ve seen that a lot of darkness – a lot of misunderstanding – surrounds this question. There used to be a programme on television called, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. It documented how the princes and princesses of the celebrity world were meant to live. In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus explains how the average member of God’s kingdom is meant to live. And last week we saw that Jesus doesn’t demolish or remove the old Law of Moses; he refurbishes it – restores it – to reveal what God’s original intention was for how his people should live. In the case of murder, retaliation, and relating to people who don’t like us, Jesus makes it clear that God is concerned not just with our external action but also with our internal attitudes. Today, we’re looking at three other commands from the Old Testament law.  In each case, let’s trace the traditional understanding of that command, Jesus’ explanation of the true scope of the command, and then the practical implications for our lives this week.

Adultery   (27-30)

First up, adultery. Jesus recites the seventh command: “Do not commit adultery” (Exod 20.14; Deut 5.18). The religious teachers of his day had erected a distinction between intention and action: It’s okay to think it as long as you don’t do it. But Jesus knocks this wall out: “Think it and you’ve done it,” he says. “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (28). Now the word “woman” here is used almost always of married women. Jesus is not outlawing natural sexual attraction. Nor is he just condemning lustful leers or pornographic thoughts. He is saying, “Don’t harbour a desire for relationship that you know is wrong.” I wonder, if you’re married, do you ever think that you might do better or you might have done better to marry someone other than your wife or husband? Whether you’re married or not, do you ever toy with the idea of finding fulfilment – sexual or emotional fulfilment – through a relationship with someone else’s partner? Jesus says that’s adultery. You’re being unfaithful in your thoughts.

So what are the implications for us? Well, you’ve probably heard of calls for castration of serial rapists, but I bet you’ve never heard calls for facial mutilation on account of adulterous thoughts (29-30). Tragically some Christians have taken Jesus’ words literally. But Jesus isn’t advocating some masochistic practice of self-mutilation. He’s just using exaggeration to emphasise that lustful or adulterous thoughts are like an infection that can spread and kill, unless we amputate. On Wednesday this week one of my sisters in law went to her doctor with a pain in her leg. The specialist discovered a five-centimetre growth inside her. The very next day she was in hospital having it cut out. It wasn’t worth the risk leaving it in there. Similarly, Jesus says that if we are to live under God’s rule, if we are to be faithful in our thoughts, we may need to make drastic sacrifices. Do you need to relinquish a relationship? Do you need to renounce a favourite activity: reading those magazines, watching that programme, surfing those websites?

I think it was David Livingston who asked a new Christian how he was getting on, and the man said, “I feel as if there are two dogs fighting inside me.” “Who’s winning?” asked the missionary. “Whichever one I feed the most.” What have you been feeding? What do you need to starve? What do you need to cut out?

Divorce   (31-32)

Jesus then turns to the law regarding divorce. And he restores that too. Divorce was as hot an issue back then as it is now. It was rife in the first century. In Greek and Roman circles you could divorce someone without any formality whatsoever. But Jewish law required that if a man divorced his wife, he must present her with a written certificate in the presence of two witnesses before sending her away (Deut 24.1-4). The law also provided that a man could only divorce his wife if he found something “indecent” about her. What does that mean? Some rabbis thought it meant that your wife had to have been sexually immoral. But a more liberal school of rabbis taught that you could divorce your wife if she did anything at all to displease you, even something as trivial as burning your dinner. Just trade her in. It reminds me of the story about two men walking their dogs. The first one said, “I got this poodle for my wife.” The second one said, “Sure wish I could trade mine in for something like that.”

Against this attitude Jesus installs a shocking new idea. He explains that even properly divorced people who marry again may be thought of as committing adultery. So what are the implications of that? Does this mean that you can’t marry again if you’ve been divorced, or that you can’t marry someone else who has been divorced? Some people think that’s what Jesus is saying. But I don’t think so. Just look at the context. Jesus is focusing on a specific problem. He is just saying, “You can’t use the law to justify divorce on the grounds of selfishness.” He’s not giving a general lecture prohibiting divorce and remarriage in every situation. He’s just stressing God’s original intention for marriage – it should last for life. But it doesn’t always. And Jesus acknowledges that. Relationships turn septic. People get divorced. They release each other from their vows. So remarriage can occur.

But the point for all of us is that we cannot let selfishness sever our relationships. Whether we’re married or not, divorced or not, we are to do whatever we can to preserve healthy relationships. Do we? For our wedding ceremony, Lorraine and I composed our own vows. I promised to always serve her and to put her needs before my own. Do I? No. I fail. But God forgives failure. And he urges all of us on: “Be faithful to your promises.”

Oaths   (33-37)

Going on from divorce, Jesus comes to the law on oaths or vows. Time and again in the Old Testament God insisted that oaths and vows were to be kept (Lev 19.12; Num 30.2). But again the teachers of the law built a rickety tradition. They said that oaths that used God’s name were to be binding. But oaths avoiding God’s name were not. And again, Jesus has to do some refurbishment to their understanding of the law. He explains that you can’t avoid your responsibilities by subtle verbal distinctions. But more importantly Jesus lifts the roof right off the issue by denying the need for oaths at all. Now some people have taken his words literally to mean that Christians must never take oaths (like swearing on the Bible in a court). But Jesus isn’t saying that. He himself allowed the high priest to put him under oath (Matt 26.62-64). Jesus is saying that to live in his kingdom is to be absolutely trustworthy, utterly faithful with our words. People should be able to rely on our words without the need for any further guarantees.

I was talking to a friend this week. She was complaining about an employee of hers. She said to me, “The lady says one thing to my face, but another thing behind my back. Her words are meaningless.” Do we ever say words that we don’t mean? “I’ll pray for you.” “I’ll be there at 5.30.” “I’ll call you.” Jesus says that if we are children of God, subjects of his kingdom, we are to be faithful – faithful in our thoughts, faithful to our promises, and faithful with our words.

Conclusion

That’s God’s plan, his blueprint, for our lives. But who of us hasn’t failed on every count? It’s impossible. Have you ever wondered why Jesus sets us such a high standard? Because that’s how God behaves. God is faithful. Have you seen the film Bridget Jones’ Diary? In that film Bridget’s mum leaves her dad after thirty something years of marriage. Deeply wounding her husband, she has an ill-fated affair. And then one day she turns up at the front door with her suitcase, wanting to come home. Guess what Bridget’s dad says: “Of course you can come home, dear. I just don’t work without you.” God’s love for us, his commitment to us, is just like that. Perhaps the primary image that God uses for himself in the Old Testament is that of a husband spurned by his wife. But even though his people are faithless, he remains faithful. He’s committed himself to them and to us, “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” No matter what. He could divorce us, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to live without us. His absolute standards for us are matched by his absolute grace.

So how can we respond to such love? In closing, here are three steps that we can take today for building faithfulness into our lives.

Ø       Set up a fence. Decide what behaviour – what thoughts, decisions and words – are in, and what are out.

Ø       Shut the back door. In your own mind, rule out unfaithfulness as an option.

Ø       Set some targets. John Maxwell has five principles that he tries to live out: “I will live what I teach. I will do what I say. I will be honest with others. I will put what is best for others ahead of what is best for me. I will be transparent and vulnerable.” I think it would be great to die and have people say at your funeral: he was faithful. He kept his promises.                                                                                                   

Jesus says, “Let your light so shine before people, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (5.16). As we let God remodel our lives, as we learn to be faithful in our thoughts, our promises, and our words, we can give our friends and our families the chance to see what God is really like. And maybe they’ll even respond to his unconditional, perfectly faithful love.